Sunday, July 25, 2010
Isn't it a pity
Yesterday I went to a show. I got to the door and a girl I used to know was selling the tickets. I said an awkward ‘hi’ and went to watch the show. Back story is about a year ago we used to hang out a lot. Then things got weird between us. I still think about her. After the band played I went outside to ring my friend to see if she was still in the area. Whilst on the phone the friend selling tickets stepped out for a cigarette. She walked across the road lit her cigarette and began talking to a friend. I could see her look over at me as I was on the phone. After the call I hung around outside the venue, her still across the road. I dont know why I was doing this. I must have been standing around for 15-20mins. I looked over to her and it looked like she was making out with the guy she had been talking to but they were just hugging. I went for a walk around the block. I was feeling really sad. We had made out one time, this caused the rift. I often wondered was it a drunken mistake on her part or did she really have feelings for me? I stood around near this block of flats for a while. I saw a cat staring at me from a window so I took a photo. As I began to walk back to the club I caught my reflection in a window and starred at my face. I’m not that good looking. This girl was beautiful. This probably was a mistake. Back at the club I remembered I had a bottle of whiskey in my pocket. I ordered a coke from the bar and poured in the whisky. I sat down by myself as people partied around me. I thought she might come back in and talk to me. I’d missed my last train so I was determined on riding it out, whatever this was. I was making some weird protest by sitting in the club by myself. I didn’t speak to anyone. I just stared into space. I Thought about what I wanted to say to her. After an hour she still hadn’t come back inside. I wondered was she making a protest herself by not wanting to be in the same room as me. I decided I was being juvenile. I should confront her and talk. I walked out to go meet her but she wasnt there. I went back in and asked her friend who was selling tickets with her earlier where she was. She'd left an hour ago to go to another party.