Saturday, June 18, 2011

The worst things

Driving home from school with my mother and seeing a fight between two school kids. One kid was badly beaten and covered in blood. As he Lay against the wall half conscious the other kid kicked him straight in the mouth knocking his front teeth out.

Watching as my dad took a call telling him his father in law had died. He dropped the phone and collapsed crying, head in hands.

Hearing a fight outside my bedroom window. I look out to see 4 guys stomp on a girl’s head, a pram parked next to her. By the time I called the police and they arrived it was all over.

Travelling out of town to meet a girl I'd met once before. After making out we got drunk. Around midnight  she just turned to me and shouted 'you don’t know what I've been through' she screamed me out of the house. I left and sat in a phone box til 4am begging for my friend to make the 2-hour drive to come pick me up. I had no money and my mobile phone was disconnected. I got home and found out  she'd rang my parents house once she'd calmed down. She told my folks I'd gone missing. My parents tried my mobile number and got the disconnection tone. They imagined the worse til I walked through the door later that morning.

I got busted by the police for carrying weed. The police told me to come by the station next week or they'll come looking for me. They didn’t tell me what station or who to speak to - it was all a mind fuck to keep me scared and out of trouble. It worked. I was 18 and living with my parents, everytime the doorbell went for the next month I jumped out of my skin.

7 years old. I opened the front door. My brother’s friend jumped out with his face painted as Spiderman. I began screaming my head off in fear. I couldn’t sleep without my mother staying with me til I nodded off. If she tried to leave before this I would freak out. This lasted 11 months.

8 years ago. Smoking some weird form of hashish when my friends. They began convincing me it was laced with acid. They pretended to trip out and tried to freak me out. This brought on my first panic attack.

I'm 17 and out with friends after a club. Some guy we were with said some racist to comment to my friend. They started arguing outside some fast food joint. Out of nowhere a skin head came along and asked what the situation was. My friend explained. He grabbed the guy who made the comment and took him to the floor and pounded his face, he then grabbed him by the jacket and shook his head repeatedly against the sides of the metal door frame.

Few years ago I'm about to board a bus when these 4 hood chicks get on each with pit bull's on leashes. The driver says there’s no way they’re getting on. As the dogs are pulled off by the owner I try to move out of the way.  One dog grabs my jeans as I try to shake him off I feel my jeans tearing. I keep pulling and my jeans tear more. All the hood bitches are laughing their ass off.  I'm thinking im gonna be half naked soon if my jeans keep ripping.. I finally get free. I can’t look anyone in eye. I stand next to the drivers door and  get off at the next stop. My jeans are ripped up to my ass one one side. I get a cab home.

Age 21 sitting around drinking with two friends in a bar. One of them says "you look kinda chubby why don’t you strip and do a dance for us bitch, show us them titties". I didn't say anything. I sat there cold face staring back at them. My friend reaches into his wallet and pulls out some coins and threw them at me - the other friend follows suit. Both of them laughing telling me to dance for them.

At Christmas I saw this old man trying to get on a hugely crowded train. This big thug guy who was standing near the door says 'there’s no fuckin room - get the next one'. The old guy is a hard ass and says 'no, no, no I'm allowed on'. The thug guy pushes him off the train.  The old guy swings his bag at him and curses at him. The thug guy goes to get off the train - the second he gets off people began to scream cause they knew what was coming. The thug charges at the old guy punches him in the head 3-4 times. The old guy fell to the floor as the train drove off from the station.  As we entered the tunnel we could hear the old man screaming as the thug continued to hit him.

Final year of high school and my friends suddenly deciding they no longer wish to be my friends. I eat with randoms every lunch time and stay home at weekends. For the first few months I make excuses as to why I'm suddenly staying in. After a while my parents slowly got the picture but nothing was said.

That weird morning when I was around 14. My brother went away for the weekend and got into an argument with his friends and left them. We got a call by the police at 7am saying his wallet was found. 2 hours later he came home and wouldn’t talk about what happened.

Last year of university. I'm living in this big house divided into different apartments. I wake up and see bloodstains on my doorstep.
3 days later I hear someone getting beaten with what sounds like a belt. I hear screams in the corridor. I jump out my window and run to my friend’s house. I call the cops. 7 hours later the police tell me the guy is in intensive care and a dead body is found across the road in another house. I never found out what the story behind this was.

1 comment:

Marchel said...

Each and every one of these was so poignant. Being alive is terrifying.