Wednesday, January 23, 2013

TRUE STORY ABOUT A GUY REALLY NEEDING TO SHIT
















I was on the train coming home from the cinema with my friend late one night. We had been stuck in a tunnel for 10 minutes when the driver announced over the PA that someone had fallen onto the tracks at the next station and we’d be held here till further notice.

After a few minutes I noticed that the guy sitting a few seats away from me looked to be in pain. He then moaned as he bent over clutching his stomach. The woman opposite him asked was he OK? He quietly said he’s got stomach cramps and was in desperate need for the toilet.

I turned to my friend and whispered “What a fucking situation to be in”. We began to talk real quietly about what we’d do in that situation I said "if I really had to go I'd just have to open the doors between the carriages squat down and just shit on the tracks."

After fifteen minutes it began to get hot and really uncomfortable on the train. We hadn't moved or received any updates from the driver. The guy seemed to be really struggling. I walked over to him and said 'dude, in all seriousness if you really need to go - open them doors and do what you gotta do'. He said he’d give it ten minutes and if were not on the move he'd have to.

Within a few minutes he became visibly worse and had began sweating profusely. I took some tissues I had from my pocket and handed to him and gave him a 'you know what to do' look. The woman opposite followed suite and handed him some pocket tissues from her handbag then put her shopping all into one bag and gave handed him the other empty carrier bag

My friend suggested it would be best if he could use the end carriage.We walked to the end carriage and  asked the only two guys sitting down can they move to the next carriage. Thankfully didn't ask any questions and just politely moved.

We left him alone in the carriage to shit. I stood in front of the carriage door to block people looking in. He was shitting hard for a good five minutes. I kept hearing him grunting. He was still shitting when we got an apologetic announcement that the train would now be on move. He was just pulling his paints up as the train pulled into the next station. He walked out of the carriage with a look of relief and joy I had not seen before or since. 
We deliberated as to whether he should carry the bag out of the station. I said to leave it . The smell of feces was so thick and fucking intense I wanted to gag. 

 He thanked us repeatedly for being so laid back and understanding. I said it's fine but made a point not to shake his hand. As we walked out of the station together we saw and ambulance pull up and a crew rush in holding a stretcher and a bunch of equipment,  which I'm guessing means the guy who fell was still alive

Sketch by David Dziemian

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